Here, there, or in the (really cold) air

Well, it has been quite some time since I posted here, for which I do apologize. I know that you, my vast audience, have been waiting with baited breath for the next installment in "Abby's Attempt at Living Abroad '13" (or as it would more appropriately have been titled when I first arrived....Down Abbey) Thank goodness, this is not Downton Abbey, with issues going from bad to worse. I have not been thrown in prison for a crime I didn't commit, maimed in a war, or had my fortune (that huge one I have) jeopardized.

My mom and Aunt Mel, dearest angels sent from across the pond, arrived two weeks ago tonight, and left yesterday morning. Truly, they were a God send, and I am doing so much better now than I initially was when I arrived here. Having them come really helped me stabilize emotionally, and they helped me with various odds and ends associated with moving that had me quite overwhelmed (i.e. cooking, getting supplies for my flat, etc). When one is so depressed that one is sans appetite and motivation to cook, one subsists on cheese sandwiches and muesli. One loses weight this way, but I wouldn't recommend it. Instead, I recommend having your mother and aunt travel thousands of miles to cook for you...

I continue to have ups and downs. Tomorrow may be harder than today. But over the last couple weeks, as I have come to a more rational place mentally and emotionally, I have found a great amount of freedom in realizing that if I decide that my health is not up for this, or simply that this situation just isn't right for me, that's ok. I can pack it all up tomorrow if I want to. Till just the last couple days, I had made a huge idol of this experience. I thought it would define my adulthood...fix anything that's wrong with me...make me the person I am to become. I exaggerate to make a point, but I had built this whole six-month ordeal up to be so much bigger than it needs to be. That pressure made my depression all the worse. But thankfully I know a God who doesn't require six month journeys abroad to make me into the person I'm supposed to be, and if it doesn't work out, it's still been a life-changing experience.

So for now, I will stay on here, until 1) the school year ends 2) my health declines again or 3) I turn into a popsicle ....whichever comes first.